DROWNING IN A SEA OF MARIJUANA - PAPERBACK

SCREAMING BATFISH BLUES

SNORTING THE DEVIL'S DANDRUFF

SAILORS SHOOT HORSE! DON'T THEY?

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

MY PERSONAL HELL WITH DELL

Let me start this off by saying that I was always a big Dell computer fan. I bought my first laptop back around 2005 and it lasted for about six years and was still working when I gave it away to an ungrateful & bitchy friend of my ex-wife. I think she plugged it up by surfing for male gay porn and got enough viruses to finally put the old girl down.

My next Dell I purchased at the Navy Exchange in Pensacola, Florida. It died immediately after I got it out of the box. I called Dell and they sent me a replacement that was a better model and was loaded with software. You can't beat that deal! I loved Dell!! Then...

I have that same Dell but it's getting on in years so I went to Buckley Air Force base and got another Dell. Lucky for me I kept my old one. 

Due to chronic back pain and finally surgery I wasn't able to get the new laptop up and running for about a month or so. The first time I got on it was basically to familiarize myself with it and load my virus protection and Office. After that - the shit hit the fan.

The next time I logged on I immediately got a warning that the battery was not charging and I called the service center and...well hell let me just put the email up that I sent to the the Board of Directors & the CEO of Dell - that'll explain it easier:

Monday, June 20, 2016


DIGGING UP MOTHER
A LOVE STORY
BY
DOUG STANHOPE

Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie. It was the cartoons in her Hustler magazine issues that molded the beginnings of his comedic journey, long before he was old enough to know what to do with the actual pornography. It was Bonnie who recited Monty Python sketches with him, who introduced him to Richard Pryor at nine years old, and who rescued him from a psychologist when he brought that brand of humor to school. And it was Bonnie who took him along to all of her AA meetings, where Doug undoubtedly found inspiration for his own storytelling.

Bonnie’s own path from bartending to truck driving, massage therapy, elder abuse, stand-up comedy, and acting never stopped her from being Doug’s genuine number one fan. So when her alcoholic, hoarding life finally came to an end many weird adventures later in rural Arizona, it was inevitable that Doug and Bonnie would be together for one last excursion.

Digging Up Mother follows Doug's absurd, chaotic, and often obscene life as it intersects with that of his best friend, biggest fan, and love of his life—his mother. And it all starts with her death—one of the most memorable and amazing farewells you will ever read. - AMAZON.COM





This book is filthy, degrading to women, degrading to mothers, obscene, disgusting, and if Dick Cheney was still the Vice President of the United States he'd haul Doug Stanhope down to Cuba and have his nuts hooked up to a car battery while they waterboarded his ass.

It's also the funniest goddamn book that I've read since Howard Stern's Private Parts! I loved every page.

Five fucking stars!!!!!



- SCOTT L. ANDERSON