BUGHOUSE TALES #1
DAN THE ONE EYED INDIAN
When you work as a security counselor/guard at a Security Hospital you usually get assigned a "one to one" patient. What that means is if the patient needs to talk or has a problem or needs anything from the outside like clothes, cigarettes, hygiene products, etc. - it's your job to handle it and then report the information to his social worker.
My second one to one was a one eyed Indian named Dan. Dan had the Mentally Ill & Dangerous designation which means basically is that he has a life sentence in the nuthouse. Only a judge can remove the Dangerous label and very few judges want to put their ass on the line to do that. No judge wants to let a dude back on to the streets and the first thing he does is rape a kid, fuck a dog, or cut some poor bastard's head off.
My first one to one was a little fucker also named Dan who I had hated. The needy little fucker was always wanting to talk to me to assure him that everything going "OK" and hung around the security bubble because he was afraid of getting punked by another patient - which was a valid fear.
Dan the Indian was in for child molestation - multiple counts - and was crazy as a rat in a tin shithouse. He had lost his eye when the voices in his head had told him to gouge out his own eye, pour gas in the open socket, and then set it afire.
He wore a buckskin patch over the gnarly socket and one would keep half a smoked cigarette in there for safekeeping.
One time we had a huge lice outbreak amongst the 20 patients locked down on our unit and it turned out that Dan had a case of head lice and was blowing the other patients for cigarettes and extra desserts at meal time. While giving the blow jobs the lice on his head were jumping on to the pubic hair of the nut who was getting oral pleasure from Dan. The other guards were irritated at me because of the mass cleaning and sterilization that we had to do on the unit - as if Dan blowing the other inmates had been my fault!
One a evening shift, Dan signaled me while I was sitting in the security bubble that he needed to speak to me.
I went out on the unit and Dan and I took a seat at one of the tables. Dan was down in the dumps and wanted to vent.
It seemed that when he called home to his family on the reservation that they were refusing his collect calls.
He looked at me seriously with his one eye and said, "You know, I fuck my sister just one time, and my family just can't seem to forget it!"
While trying to keep a straight face I had replied, "Ya, Dan. Sometimes families just don't understand that kind of behavior."
