Friday, April 20, 2018

SCREAMING BATFISH BLUES #23

SCREAMING BATFISH BLUES #23




OMAHA AND MISSOURI
Brad Wake loved the Air Force. Everything about it. He couldn’t imagine doing anything else. He had been in the Air Force almost fifteen years with the last three spent in recruiting. His positive message and gung ho manner captivated both parents and their dipshit kids into signing on the dotted line within an hour or so after visiting his recruiting office in downtown Omaha.

Only last month he had visited the White House and met the man himself after Wake had been voted AF recruiter of the year.

The Presidents autographed photo now hung in a place of prominence over Brad’s desk. It had really help pick up his recruiting quota even more. Yes indeed, the Air Force had certainly been good to him.

It had gotten him away from his bitch mother in Ohio. He hated her more than he loved his precious Air Force. Not without good reason.

Mom had bitched poor old Dad right out of the house and then the old shrew had turned her attention to Brad. He wasn’t allowed to leave the house after school or on weekends. No friends were allowed in the house, not that Brad would have ever wanted anyone to see how they lived. He was forced to watch his mother drink a bottle of vodka almost everyday while she smoked three packs of Virginia Slims. Thursday night was enema night. Brad’s mom would tie Brad to his bed and forcibly give him a coffee enema.

On weekends she brought men home and forced Brad to watch them screw on the living room fold out couch. Sometimes the men wanted Brad, too. His mother really liked that.

Near the end of Brad’s senior year in high school his Mom had gotten really tanked and had fallen down the basement stairs and wound up shattering her leg. She was in the hospital and in rehab for over five months. In that time Brad would move in with his grandparents, graduate from school, and enlist and ship out with the Air Force.

He never saw his mother again, only the demons she planted in him.

While in military technical school in Texas, Brad had met a hooker in San Antonio, took her to a cheap room, but he didn’t screw her, that would be sick. He had strangled her with his belt instead.

She had looked just like his mother.

Once he started, he couldn’t stop. It was too good of a release. It continued in towns surrounding every base and in every country that he was stationed in. He only used a belt the first time. Now he used the tubing off of enema bags.

He had killed over thirty prostitutes and runaways. He never had sex with them. But when they died, he would sometimes come in his pants.

A couple looked just like Mom. It hadn’t happened in Omaha yet, but it would. It was starting to build in him. At first he would only go to the porn shops a couple times a  week. By the time he was ready to do another he would be going almost daily. He liked to watch the short loop films which showed older women screwing. How could those filthy whores do that? At their age! It made him hate her more. Tonight would be his fourth time this week.

SSG Brad Wake locked up his file cabinets, checked to make sure his outgoing mail included the enlistment packets of his newest recruits, went into the back room to change out of his uniform, shut off the office lights, and locked the front door, giving it several good shakes.

He didn’t notice the Chevy Vega parked half way down the street.

“Is that him?” The guy who had been assigned to pick Derek up had been driving him fucking crazy. They were in their third day together. He couldn’t believe the dude was driving a fucking Vega, he thought they had been outlawed or something while he was in the joint.

“That’s him,” Derek replied as he watched Wake get in his government issued sedan.

“Let him take off first. Don’t turn your lights on until he turns the corner. The fuck book store that he’s probably going to is only about two miles away so don’t get to close.”

His driver put his car in gear and farted wetly. He glanced over at Derek. “I’m sorry but I’m real nervous. Stomach is real queasy.”

“Do that again and I’ll give you something to be nervous about,” Derek barked as he rolled down the window.

A block down the road he could see the recruiter’s sedan. He looked over at his driver. Obviously, he was military; you could tell that by the haircut and poor choice of civilian wear. Probably an officer. I wonder how they recruited these guys, Derek thought. Want to be an accessory to a murder? Help you out on your promotion.

The sedan took a right hand turn. “OK. He’s going to the book store again. Find a parking spot as soon as you make the turn and shut off the lights.”

As they turned the corner, Derek could see the recruiter’s car pull into the driveway of the porno store and drive around the back into the hidden back parking lot. Without a doubt he wouldn’t want anyone to see that car.

Derek reached into his gym bag and pulled out a .357 magnum revolver and checked the cylinder. Six rounds rested in there. He snapped it shut and put it in the shoulder holster under his leather biker jacket and
reached to feel the knife case at the back of his belt which contained a razor sharp Buck knife. Strapped to his right ankle was a .38 snub nose. He pulled on an Omaha Royals ball cap.

“Keep your eyes peeled and when you see me come out of that front door you start this piece of shit up and tear ass down the street to pick me up. Keep the motor running and leave my door open. Got it?”

His driver nodded sickly, farted again, and tried to open his door but puked all down the inside of the driver’s side.

“Jesus Christ. Get it together, man.”

The combination of the funk inside the car and his own nerves made Derek quickly step out for fear that he might have to vomit himself. He took a couple of deep breaths and began to stroll towards the skin shop. He could only hope that the driver would be there when he came back out.

The adult book store was a plain
cinder block building painted a baby blue color. Derek stepped inside.

At the elevated counter reading a Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers comic book was a punk rocker with a Sid Vicious T-shirt and a haircut that looked like he might have done himself with a pair of dog clippers, and without the use of a mirror. He barely glanced up at Derek and went back to his doper oriented periodical.

Wake was standing over in front of the magazine section and was looking at a fine publication called Bunghole Babes. Jake wandered over to the lesbian and S & M section and fingered through a few magazines. 

The recruiter put his magazine down and walked down the hallway where the skin flicks were. He entered a single’s booth with the movie title Grandma’s Gash over the door. Jake could hear the lock on the door click.

It was as quiet as a graveyard in there. He could actually hear the punker turn the pages of his comic books. There was no one else inside.

Jake put on a pair of sunglasses and walked to the counter, pulling out his pistol at the same time. He jammed into the punker's forehead before he could even look up.

“Down on our stomach on the floor, asshole, or your brains will be all over the counter.”

The clerk dropped to the floor without a word. Derek heard him crap his pants. Everyone he was working with tonight had bowel problems.

He held his breath as he fastened an electrical tie down around the punker’s wrists. He stuck his pistol at the back of the clerk’s head. “My advice to
you is to forget anything you’ve seen tonight.”

The clerk whimpered. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Derek stood and walked over and threw the dead bolt on the front door. He turned over the open sign to where it now read closed and turned off the front lights of the store. He glanced down the dirty movie hallway, nothing was stirring.

Derek walked down the hallway and stepped into the booth across from the recruiters to give him some arm room. He reached across to the booth’s door knob and gave it a shake.

“It’s occupied,” came out of the booth.

Derek raised the pistol to head level and began firing while adjusting his aim down the door. Huge splinters of wood were flying from the door. The screams inside were almost drowned out by the roar of the
pistol. He kept firing until the hammer clicked on an empty chamber.

Derek quickly walked to the back room of the shop and exited out the back door. He walked down the driveway of the book store, looking both ways, no one was around, must be a slow night for the porno trade. He walked onto the street. The Vega was still in its parking place,the engine idling. It didn’t move.

Derek began to run towards the car. There was no one inside!

“Fuck,” he screamed. He jumped inside, did a quick u-turn, and tore the hell out of there as fast as the four cylinder engine would go. He was lost.

He hadn’t been paying attention to any of the streets since he hadn’t driven while he had been in Omaha. Realizing how stupid he was acting, he slowed back down and began to gather his bearings and composure. He saw a Burger King, pulled in, and went into the rest room.

After locking the door, he wiped down the magnum and shoved it along with the ball cap deep into the trash can. Giving himself a few more minutes to let the adrenaline subside, he then walked out and ordered himself a burger, fries, and a coke. He tried to casually ask the girl behind the counter, who was very pretty with dirty, dishwater blonde hair, and with very perky tits, if she could give him directions to the airport.

She smiled sweetly at Derek. “I live right out by the airport. If you could wait about forty five minutes, my shift will be over, and you can follow me out there if you want.”

The driver who had picked Derek up at the Springfield, Missouri airport for the second hit was the absolute opposite of the moron in Omaha who had run off on him. Southern redneck to the core, he was of course, driving a huge four wheel drive pickup covered in rebel flags and NASCAR stickers. It had a camper shell on it and the redneck had told Derek to climb in there if he wanted to crash, they’d be in Ft. Leonard Wood in less than two hours. He’d wake him when they got close.

Jerry Banks had come completely fucking unglued after the hit in Omaha. Derek and the broad, Natalie, from Burger King, had stopped off at a local watering hole and one beer had led to two, two to three. And three back to her place and a night of all star fucking.

She was a student at the University of Nebraska-Omaha, and was going with a football player who had gone out of town on spring break and left her to work her shifts at the home of the Whopper. She had thought Derek was a ball player and would be an adequate substitute for her beau while he was gone drinking Corona at wet T-shirt contests and banging college beaver. The sun coming through the cheap blinds in her
apartment had finally woken Derek at about nine the next morning.

He had slipped out her bed to go into the kitchen and make the call to Banks. The agent had answered on the first ring, and man, was he pissed.

“Where the fuck are you?”

“Why,I’m still in Omaha, Jerry. Thanks to that inbred mountain retard that you set me up with.”

“What happened?”

“I came out of the store and he was gone. He left the car, a fucking Vega by the way, and I took off in it.”

“A Vega? That son of a bitch had four grand advanced for expenses and that included a rental car. Is Omaha that much of a shithole that they still rent Vegas? Any idea what happened to the driver?”

Derek blew out his breath. “The last I saw of that guy he was puking down the side of the car. He just freaked out and bolted. I hope you make a better choice for my escort next time.”

“Did everything else go down as planned? Any problems?”

“Everything else was perfect.”

“Where did you spend the night?”

Derek looked over at Natalie’s bedroom door. She was leaning against the door frame, buck naked. She smiled at him as she rubbed her beaver.

“You fuck like you just got out of prison. Shit, I’m sore.”

Derek clamped his hand over the phone.

“Who the hell was that?” demanded Banks.

“A waitress, I’m at a Burger King.”

“So where did you stay last night?” Banks repeated.

“In the car.”

“All right. Get your ass to the airport and go to the lounge. When you hear the name Sam Jacobs paged, go to the front of the terminal and wait in front of the Avis counter and I’ll have a contact meet you there. I think I can arrange for the Air Guard to give you a hop back here to the base. Give the keys to the car to the contact. He’ll dispose of it.”

Derek hung the phone up. “I’ve got an hour or so to kill. What do you want to do?”

She wanted to do everything all over again. 

Willie Nelson blasted Derek awake. The redneck must have a hell of a of a sound system in this truck. Shit, the guy had speakers built right into the bed of the truck. The air mattress that Derek was laying on was vibrating like a hotel bed that you pumped quarters into.

The truck was pulled over on I-44 and the redneck was waving through the back window for Derek to join him up in the cab.

“My names Jim Pitre. I’m a first lieutenant in the infantry.” He had his hand stretched across the cab as Derek hopped in. The floorboard was littered with Budweiser cans. He obviously had been drinking all the way from Springfield.

“You really shouldn’t tell me anything personal,” answered Derek.

“Fuck, man, I don’t give a shit. This ain’t the first time I’ve done this crap. I joined the army to kill folks and I ain’t had a chance to do it yet, no wars, so I do this for a little extra pin money and the hope that maybe one of you boys will let me join in on the fun.” Derek couldn’t help but laugh.

There had been no need to case the area or to place the subject under surveillance. Gunnery Sergeant Brian Oneal had such an obvious routine going on that Derek couldn’t believe that the cops hadn’t busted him yet.

Monday through Friday he performed his military duties at the base and went home to his trailer immediately after work.

There he changed clothes and went on a daily five mile run and then returned to pump iron in the building adjacent to his trailer house. On Saturday mornings he drove out to a farmhouse located in a deep hollow just north of a town called Licking and cooked meth all day long with a couple of good old boys know locally as The Butcher Brothers. Intelligence could not pick up the reason for the nickname although it did pick up that the trio was cooking some of the finest methamphetamine in the surrounding five counties and were making a fortune doing it.

Saturday nights were spent at
a roadhouse just off the interstate where the Gunny was known to get totally bombed on Beefeaters gin while he enjoyed the company of several of the wives of lower ranking enlisted men who Oneal had scheduled
conveniently for weekend duty.

On Sundays, Oneal attended services at the local Licking Baptist church all dressed up in his fancy Marine dress blues, and then spent the afternoons lecturing at various youth groups about the dangers of narcotics and marijuana.

Monday mornings when he drove on base for work, he had the weekly meth deliveries, which would be distributed to his base contacts, hidden inside the spare tire of his Pontiac GTO, which had a D.A.R.E sticker on the bumper.

There was absolutely nothing in Oneal’s documented past that would lead one to believe that he would become a major player in a narcotics ring.

Born to a loving couple who were still married. Dad a retired Colonel in the Corps, Mom a stay at home gal. He had graduated in the top ten percent of his class, had placed third in the Virginia state high school wrestling championship in his senior year, and had turned down a scholarship to the University of Iowa, a huge wrestling school, to join the Marine Corps instead.

Marine Corps evaluations had shown him to be an outstanding Marine with only one blemish on his record. A fist fight with a sailor at the enlisted men’s club in Quantico. The swabby had made a crack about the Corps and had to pay for it. Other than that, nothing.

“You know where this guy’s trailer is?” Derek asked.

“It’s just outside this little dirt bag town called Licking. South of Leonard Wood. We’ll cruise by the club and see if his Goat is parked outside. I’m sure it is. He gets fucked up there every Saturday night.

Shouldn’t be back to the trailer until way after closing. Sometimes he screws those enlisted guys wives out in the parking lot after closing, but not always. We’ll still have plenty of time even if he doesn’t score tonight.”

They pulled up into the parking lot of the club. Typical military and southern Missouri beer joint. Country music blaring out the doors and a fight already going on around the back. The bright red GTO sat two cars
over from the front door. USMC sticker displayed prominently in the back window. Pitre threw his truck in park and jumped out. “Be right back.”

A minute later he climbed back and threw a six pack of tall Buds between them.

“Damn, I’m thirsty tonight. Grab a couple if you like. We got plenty of time. Our boy was sitting at the bar with a broad that must weigh two bills. He must like ‘em big. I can’t see her turning him down. Unless she’s ragging.” They headed off for Licking while listening to a Charlie Daniels tape, drinking beer, and Pitre telling tales of Tennessefootball and black pussy.

The truck cruised by the grove of woods where Oneal's trailer sat in the darkness.

“There’s a big patch of scrub land coming up on our right about a quarter mile down. We can hide the truck in there and work our way back up in the ditch. No one will be able to see us if they pass by,” Pitre said.

“What the hell do you mean, we?”

“Oh, shit, man, come on,” whined Pitre.“Let me have some of this action. Please?”

Derek sat and stared at Pitre as he pulled the cab down into the scrub bush. He was thinking about the driver in Omaha. This guy here was undoubtedly a loose cannon but he sure as shit wasn’t going to bolt on him.

But he could get them both killed, or worse, caught. Pitre shut off the truck and hit the lights. He turned and looked at Derek again.

“Please?” He gave a grin.

“All right, what the fuck, let’s go. You carry this.” He handed Pitre his gym bag.

They climbed out of the truck and headed back towards the trailer using the deep ditch. No cars passed by. It was a warm, clear night, and the stars were so bright you didn’t need a flashlight. Derek was worried about snakes and kept his eyes close to the ground. They came around the back of the trailer. The intelligence report had stated no dogs were on the premises.

Derek had been leery about that. Meth dealers and makers were famous for having pit bulls around. Pitre took a long screwdriver out of the bag and stuck it into the door jam. The door groaned and popped open with a loud crack. Derek pulled out his 9 mm out of his shoulder holster and walked inside. He clicked on his flashlight.

The place was tidy beyond belief. It was decorated with cheap furniture bought at the base store and the walls were covered with Marine Corps posters and Oneal’s citations and awards.

But the place was so clean it actually smelled like lemon Pledge and Lysol.

“This cocksucker must have a bitch living with him,” whispered Pitre.

“No. He lives alone. Let’s check the place out.” 

They went through all the cupboards and shelves in the kitchen and living room and found no evidence of drugs. The bedroom was clean too. Just a couple of Penthouse magazines and a box of rubbers. Ditto for
the bathroom.

“Shit, I’m not sure they have the right guy. This place is spotless. If a guy is running as much as they say he is, he would have to have something to show for it. There’s not even a fucking baggy in here, for
Christ’s sake.”

Derek looked over at Pitre. The redneck army officer was looking down at a huge throw rug with the USMC trademark bulldog on it.

“Give me a hand here. Let’s get this couch and chair off this rug and see what’s underneath.”

The rug was pulled free from the furniture to reveal a small trap door cut into the floor of the trailer. Pitre stuck his screwdriver in the side and pried up the little door. Sitting inside was a combat boot box. Inside, stacked neatly, right up to the lid, was nothing but twenties and fifties, tied off in neat bundles with rubber bands.

“Jack fucking pot,” grinned Pitre.

Derek emptied the box into the gym bag and stood up. Lights swept through the living room.

“Shit, someone pulled up, get out the back,” ordered Derek.

The two ran out the back door, quickly closing it behind them, and then scampered over and hid behind an old model T Ford that looked like Oneal might be attempting to restore.

The lights came on in the trailer. Oneal’s GTO was still idling in the driveway. They could see him walk into his living room, stop, look down, and run immediately over to pick up his phone.

“Fuck, he’s calling for his partners. He knows someone has been inside, get your head down. I got to do this quick.” Derek stood and quickly fired three shots from his 9 mm into the propane tank behind the trailer.

The propane tank and the house trailer exploded into an enormous fireball with such force that it threw Derek back ten feet in the air, his fourth shot going high into the sky, where he landed hard against a young sapling.

Pieces of the burning trailer were falling out of the sky all around Derek as he rolled over onto his hands and knees and tried to get the breath back into his lungs. He felt like he had been hit square in the chest by a runaway Volkswagen. He tried to stand but collapsed over onto first his side, then over onto his back. Their was a roaring in his ears that sounded like the time his Dad had taken him to stand right next to Gooseberry Falls up in northern Minnesota. Jesus, he missed his Dad. Why did Billy make him fight that retard? Was that why he hurt so badly?

“Get up, man. Get the fuck up. We got to get the hell out of here.The sheriff will be here any minute. That was like a fucking nuclear blast. I swear to shit there was a mushroom cloud.”

Derek opened his eyes. The retard was standing over him. He blinked his eyes a couple of times. They felt like sand had been ground into them. No, it wasn’t the giant. It was that guy who had picked him up at the airport in Springfield. He never though about it before but he looked just like that kid on that television show his Mom use to like. What was that show? Oh yea. The Andy Griffith Show. His driver looked like Opie only with a military buzz cut.

Jim had him by the front of his jacket and was shaking him.

“Derek, get the hell up. Now!” Pitre bent down, grabbed an arm and then one of Derek's legs and hoisted him up in a fireman’s carry. He took off down the driveway in a fast trot.

They were half way back to Springfield when Derek finally came to. He looked over at Pitre who was cruising down the freeway and drinking a beer just like they were on their way to the county fair. Only
Pitre’s face was almost totally black from the flames and smoke from the explosion.

Jim looked over at grinned. “Hey there, sleepy head. Thought I lost you for a minute. Man, was that a fucking rush or what? Hunks of that trailer shot straight up the air and came crashing down. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“How did I get here?” asked Derek.

“Shit, I carried you to the truck. You flew through the air like Superman and landed right against a tree. That fat bitch that was at the bar with the Marine must have been in the driveway in his car when the tank
blew. When I carried you around the front of the trailer, she was running around in circles and screaming like a banshee. I don’t think she even noticed us.”

“Where’s my pistol?”

“Check your holster. I put it back there after we got to the truck. You held the damn thing through the explosion and when I carried you back. I had to damn near break your fingers to get it loose.”

The truck rolled into a motel parking lot. Jim wiped his face off with a rag and got out of the truck.

“I’ll get us a room to lay low in for the night. You’re looking a little ragged, son.”

Derek was able to get into the room under his own power and he soaked in the tub while Pitre left to buy even more beer. The guy must have a terminal thirst or a hollow leg. When he popped back into the room with a
twelve pack and a bag of pork rinds, Derek was spread eagled on his bed.

“Beer?”

Derek shook his head no and closed his eyes.

Pitre shrugged his shoulders and began to channel surf the television. “Hey, fucking Showtime! Look at the jugs on that bitch.”

When Derek opened his eyes to check out the tits it was already morning and the morning news was on.

Pitre was sitting up in a chair and by his appearance had already showered and was ready to go. He was shoving a huge sweet roll into his mouth and was pointing at the screen. “Jane Pauley. Now that’s a broad I could wake up to.”

They headed back to Springfield. Derek was to meet his plane at the National Guard flight activity out by the airport in three hours. Since they were only a half hour away, they had time to kill.

Derek was starting to recover a bit and Pitre had a hankering for Chinese food.

“Come on, dude. My treat. I owe you. I’ve never had more fun that last night.”

“Jesus Christ, Jim. If anyone owes anyone anything, it’s me. You saved my ass last night. If you hadn’t picked me up off the ground and carried me back to the truck, the cops would have me in the slammer right now on a murder one charge. Or his hillbilly friends would be burying me in a shallow grave.”

“Don’t sweat it my man. I had the time of my life. Tell you what, you ever come back this way again, you just make sure they ask for old Jim to drive you around. That’ll be more than enough payment.”

Derek laughed. “You are definitely one of the craziest fuckers I have ever met.”

They pulled up in front of the Chinese buffet.

“It’s a little early but what the fuck. I can eat good Chinese food anytime of the day or night. I eat here every time I come to Springfield.”

They were the only ones in the restaurant due to the early hour, but the buffet was open and loaded with Chinese delicacies. Both men had filled their plates twice and were thinking about hitting it a third time when
the two scumbags walked in the front door. It was a salt and pepper team.

One white guy and one black guy. Both of them looked like they were in the terminal stages of drug addiction and poor hygiene. When the slight Asian waitress approached them, she was greeted with the sight of a Saturday night special aimed at her forehead.

“Just give me the money you slope bitch,” barked the black one.

Derek reached under his jacket and slid his 9 mm down into his lap. The white skel walked over to them and smiled. It looked like he might have been eating shit sandwiches before they decided to rob the place. He opened his filthy denim jacket to show another Saturday night special tucked into his belt.

“You boys just sit there and enjoy your meal and we’ll be out of your hair in a jiffy. But first I’ll have to ask you for your wallets.”

Pitre picked up an egg roll and dipped it into his hot mustard. “I don’t think so.”

The white scumbag scowled. “What the fuck did you say?”

Jim started to bite into his egg roll, then stopped, “I said I don’t think so, you white trash piece of shit.”

Derek fired the 9 mm he was holding in his lap directly into the stick up man’s gonads.

The scumbag grabbed his crotch and felt straight onto his back while screaming like an injured rabbit. The only word that Derek could make out was “Mommy.”

He quickly stood up and assumed a shooting position at the black robber who was standing at the cash register with one hand in the cash drawer while he had the waitress by the back of her hair. He whirled around at the sound of the shot. Derek fired four times, placing each shot within a five inch radius in or around the skel’s heart. If he wasn’t dead when he hit the floor, he was dead soon after. The waitress ran screaming into the
kitchen.

“Fuck, Derek. This is sure gonna screw me from ever eating here again,” yelled Pitre.

“We better roll.” Jim jumped out of the booth and leaned over to pull the white trash robber’s piece out of his belt. He pulled back the slide, glanced inside the chamber, aimed and shot the skel in the forehead.

“That screaming was getting old.”

Checking both directions as they exited the restaurant, the two men walked swiftly to the truck and raced out of the parking lot.

“I guess you’ll get to enjoy my company a little longer,” said Derek. “My cover could be blown here so we’ll have to go to the alternate pick up point. That’s in Tulsa.”

“Tulsa? Shit, I better stop for some beer.”

SCREAMING BATFISH BLUES #22

SCREAMING BATFISH BLUES #22





BATFISH
CINCPACFLT

“OH FUCK,” Zak screamed, making me almost jump through the windshield. I turned and saw the blue flashing gum ball on the dashboard of the unmarked car behind us.

This was our first meeting with Leon.

We had just pulled on to the base after making a dope run and the fucker had been waiting for us to drive back on to his turf. In the back seat was two pounds of Kona Gold in a shoe box. Way too much dope to try to eat to avoid a bust. You could try I suppose, but man, would you get high.

“Easy now, Zak, it’s probably nothing.” I was eyeballing Zak’s right hand reaching for his .38 Colt Detective Special that he kept under the front seat.

The little bastard was out of his car and screaming like a banshee.

“Put up your hands where I can see them you cock suckers.” He had a really shrill, irritating voice. Obviously, he had watched a lot of cop movies.

He then walked up to the car and told us to put our hands on the dashboard and don’t move. Opening the back door of our car he reached in and picked up the shoe box.

“Holy shit” he gasped looking in the box. Sneering at us as he looked up, he said “I know you pussies won’t mind if I take this. Do you? Cat got your tongue? Big bad SEALS. Bunch a pussies you ask me. Now you two punks drive back to your barracks and wait for me. I’ll be by in an hour or so. We need to talk.”

He showed up in three hours with a buddy in tow. A balding, anorexic looking shit, who it turns out, was the handler of the base drug sniffing dog, who was named Spider. The handlers name was Garret and we would find out later that he dated Pok's sister Lee. That’s how he and Leon got in cahoots together.

Between the two, they either skimmed half of the drugs they turned up or outright took them all. Who was going to complain? The sailors that they were busting? The only problem they had was getting the product back on to the street for resale. They were both well known narcs. Who in their right mind would buy dope from them? And neither of these two fucking idiots were what you would consider street smart. That’s where we came in.

Leon would keep the PCP smoking secret service agent incident hush hush, for as long as he could, if we sold their confiscated dope for them. All proceeds of the sales would go to them. Our own business was officially shut down and if we talked we could expect a court martial and a lengthy stay in Fort Leavenworth. There was seemingly no way out.

“Let’s kill them. Both of the cocksuckers.” Zak hissed, after the “cocksuckers” had left the barracks.

“Are you fucking nuts?” I said (panicking). “If we kill two NIS agents, every fucking government agency will be here on the next flight. Plus, the secret service in Seattle will put two and two together and figure out that we rubbed out the agent that they called. No way, man. No fucking way. We’re just going to have to roll with it and think of another way out of this elephant shitpile of a mess.”

We rolled with it for two almost three months but it was the absolute shits. Jerry and Garret were indiscriminate on the kind of dope they picked up, and a good share of the time the quality was beyond garbage. Our normal customers business dropped off to zero when the quality went down. I had told Rick and Matt that Pearl Harbor was hot and
that we wouldn’t need any product for a spell. Since they both lived way off base they didn’t seem to suspect anything.

The weekly payments that we made to Leon and Garret involved a complicated scenario of putting the cash inside of an envelope, which was then placed inside of a plastic bag, which was then placed in a jar, and then
buried according to the weekly map we received in the mail from the two fucking boneheads. I’m sure that one of them had read about it in some espionage novel.

If things couldn’t possibly get any worse, we then we got word that Captain Clint had passed on to that big shipyard in the sky.

His birthday had rolled around and Yolanda had surprised him with a threesome, the third party being the young wife of a naval officer who was at sea. She liked it both ways and the Captain had gotten so worked up that he had shorted out all his wiring and stroked out. Zak had left for the mainland on emergency leave.

I felt worse when the Captain passed on than I did when my own brother had expired in the shower at the reformatory. Although I think that Clint went out having a lot more fun than my brother did. But, who knows?

Some of those magazines I inherited from my brother were borderline, if you know what I mean.

I was working on the midnight shift while Zak was back in San Diego and my mood could be best described as “surly”. Leon and Garret had visited me before work and had woken me up from a deep coma like sleep. I had consumed the better half of a twelve pack of beer and several joints to put me in that state. They had used their master key to enter the room and had woken me up by letting Spider jump up on my bunk and hump my head. Both of them thought it was hilarious.

What had brought them on this unexpected (and uninvited) visit was that Leon was buddy buddy with some ancient Admiral stationed at CINCPACFLT and the old bastard was having problems securing companionship. His female driver had recently rotated back to the states and she was his former source. In other words, they wanted me to find the old geezer a whore.

“What do I look like? I asked. “A pimp.”

“I know for a fact, asshole, that there’s a WAVE stationed here that’s been selling her bush. And I hear she’s hot. I need you to set it up.”

He replied. “There’s good coin involved. Just not for you.”

Fucking comedian. “I forgot. Since you seem to be only interested in women who have both tits and a dick, you wouldn’t know where to start looking. Would you?”

That struck a nerve. “Listen fucker. You two haven’t been getting shit done lately on the dope sales, so I have to find other ways to generate income. So shut your fucking mouth and just get me the whore. It’s for this Saturday night. His old lady is going over to the big island for some church
benefit.”

So you can understand that I wasn’t in the greatest of moods at work that night. About two in the morning I had to go on the security walk through the headquarters building. This involves walking through the building offices and checking for fire hazards, unlocked file cabinets and safes, and general security violations. Great opportunity to rifle through people’s desks and look for dirt on them.

I had stopped out on the top floor prior to burn a joint and was feeling really groggy. Like I said earlier, the dope that came through Leon was not the top of the line shit that we usually smoked. Which the result of,
was a high that was usually a low grade buzz, that made you more tired than anything. So I decided to skip most of the walk through and catch a quick cat nap in the big Admiral’s office.

As I leaned back in his hand tooled leather recliner for a quick snooze, I noticed that his wall safe was open and the door ajar. Huh! Obviously the rules don’t apply to the old bastard.

Before I locked it up I decided to walk into the safe and take a look around. Not much of interest in there until I saw an old cardboard file box on the bottom of a stack, at the back of the safe. On the side of the box were the letters M-P and then the name “Morrison, J.” Having always been a fan of The Doors and knowing of Jim Morrison’s family connections to the Navy, I was interested if there could actually be information on him in the box, so I pulled it out of the pile and took it out to the desk and began to go through it. Inside was a huge manila folder on both Jim Morrison and Elvis Presley.

From what these documents said, both of them were under extensive government surveillance right up until the times of their deaths.

In fact, according to these reports, Morrison had been tailed in France the very day of this death. There was also a report on NIS being involved on setting up a tail on Elvis when he was scheduled to come to Oahu on one of his many visits, but it was canceled when he couldn’t make it due to a family illness. A copy of Elvis’s five page letter to Nixon was in there. The prick wanted to be a government narcotics agent while he was doing more drugs than The Rolling Stones. He volunteered his services.

What a fucking gold mine! The King and the Lizard King being checked out by the Feds and Elvis wanted to be junior G-Man narc.

There were also two smaller files on the bottom of the box. The first one described a locally based commander had been having a fling with one of the enlisted dental technicians and NIS had stumbled on to the affair.

The couple would go out at lunch and drive up into this little woods and fuck like monkeys in the back of the commander’s pick up. It’s pretty warm around lunch time in Hawaii, so they’d leave the back of the camper shell open for air. This gave the agent who was following them a perfect party view for his long range lens.

Their folder was full of shots of the couple going at it (I’ve never seen hotter photos in a skin rag) and included the police report detailing the reaction of the technicians husband when he got copies of the photos in the mail anonymously. He had taken a shotgun and shot the inside of their house up. A SWAT team had to be called. They were now divorced (and discharged) and she had moved to Los Angeles to explore opportunities in the entertainment field.

The husband had moved to Hawaii state prison where he explored opportunities in getting sodomized by Samoans. I remembered both her and her husband; they had bought a lot of weed from me before their life had gone to total hell.

The second file was about the sailor who had beaten an ensign to death. Looked like he had been doing a little dealing himself prior to his arrest.

It took me almost an hour to photo copy the Morrison and Presley file. Get it in back into the safe and lock it up. I didn’t bother to copy the skin flick file; I just stole it out right. The pot dealer’s remained in the box. He was out of circulation for good.

It took me so long that Tom had gotten nervous and was about to send a Marine sentry to look for me. I put the files in my lunch cooler next to my tuna sandwich and walked out through the front gate with it after the change of shift.

SCREAMING BATFISH BLUES #21

SCREAMING BATFISH BLUES #21




JUICE
PARTS UKNOWN
By lunch time, Jake had a new military I. D. card, Nevada driver’s license, and a wallet full of other cards, all in the name of Derek Powell. He was sporting a fresh military haircut and was clean shaven. To anyone concerned, Jake Morrow was sitting in a cell in Leavenworth federal prison. While Derek Powell was sitting down to a lunch of chicken breast sandwiches and French fries with Special Agent Jerry Banks.

“Little hair of the dog that bit you?’ Banks was standing in front of the fridge and waving a Guinness.

“Bring it on. Maybe I’ll feel better.”

Banks set the beer in front of him. “You’ve made the right decision, Jake. Shit, I mean Derek. It’ll take me a while to get used to your new name. It’s probably only going to take a couple of months or so to finish your missions and compare that to what you were facing a day or so ago. Won’t be long you’ll be sunning your ass on an island out in the middle of the Pacific without a care in the world.”

Jake/Derek bit into his sandwich without responding so Banks continued on.

“Let’s start going over these cases. Number one is an Air Force recruiter currently stationed in Omaha, Nebraska. Career type that’s been stationed all over the world. We’ve uncovered that he is responsible for the deaths of over fifteen streetwalkers and runaway girls who lived around the bases that he has been stationed at. Intelligence has reported that law enforcement agencies have begun to put together a pattern but have yet to narrow it down to our target. Yet. If he kills a hooker or some kid in Omaha in his usual fashion, it won’t take long for them to center in on him.”

“Why don’t you just turn over your evidence and have him arrested?” asked Jake.

“If he was some normal enlisted man that would be no problem. But this asshole was voted recruiter of the year and even had lunch with the President. Publicity would be the shits. Hit recommended is to make it look
like a street crime.”

Banks flipped a page. “Number two is a Marine stationed at Ft. Leonard Wood, Missouri. Gunnery Sergeant who is involved with some local hillbillies and rednecks in a very profitable methamphetamine operation. Operation brings in an estimated one to one and a half million dollars a year. Been going on almost three years now. What gets his ass in a twist and brings him to our attention is that his assignment at Leonard Wood is with the drug eradication team there. Dipshit has a chest full of medals and accommodations from his work with the team. Not a thing that the higher ups want plastered all over the evening news. Lives alone in trailer outside of Licking, Missouri. Clean out all evidence of narcotics and blow the place to hell and back. Trailer’s got a big propane tank behind it, should be easy.”

Derek finished two sandwiches and started on another beer. He was starting to feel a little better and listening to Bank’s briefing was starting to give him a familiar adrenaline buzz. These guys are assholes, he rationalized.

Dumb fuck number three is a wannabe pimp down in Orlando, Florida. That one should be kind of fun for you. Lot of sun and poontang to check out while you’re there. This asshole is a former sailor with a bad conduct discharge. He’s got one girl working for him and they have a room with a two way mirror set up at a sleaze bag motel. They take sailors and other military types in there and videotape or take pictures of them in action with the whore and then blackmail them. Couple of younger sailors objected to the strong arming and he killed them both. Shot one and slit the other one’s throat. That one had graduated from boot camp that very day, guess he didn’t want his mother to see him in action with a black chick. Anyway, our mark recently hit the jackpot with a higher ranking naval officer and has been blackmailing him on the installment program. This one we have to find the evidence before he gets taken out. This shitbag can then be taken out anyway you so desire. No one will care. You may have to take the hooker out, but probably not. She’s not real bright.”

“Banks, how am I going to get around in these towns? I’ve never been to any of them.”

“Not to worry. A contact will meet you at the airport for every assignment and will handle all transportation. These guys are handpicked and gung ho to the max. They’ll do anything you tell them to. OK?”

Jake nodded.

“Four is a retired Navy chief in San Diego. Hard core pedophile and porno freak. Former driver and confidante of a soon to be major political star. This one is going to have to look like a suicide or accident.Definitely have to find and destroy all the sick shit that this guy has been
stockpiling.I’d like to kill him myself.”

Banks stopped to catch his breath and to chug down a beer.

“All right. Five and six are where you are really going to earn your wings. These two are one of the main reasons you were hand picked for these missions. Fifth name is Gary Bryant. You might have heard of him. Been a couple of books and even a movie made about him. Currently serving a long sentence in Oak Park Heights prison just outside of the Twin Cities. Your neck of the woods. He sold a shitload of secrets to the Russians some years back when he was working for a civilian intelligence company with a military contract. Soon to be released on parole. We can’t let that happen. He’s gonna get snuffed.”

“Ja..Derek, we’re going to put you inside to do this one.”

“Inside where?” demanded Jake. “In Oak Park. Don’t worry, you will be totally protected in there. We have an inside contact. It would be too suspicious if Bryant got whacked as soon as he was released. His parents have money and a lot of influence. He’s got to be done inside. It’ll be quick. You’ll do him in a couple of days after you get there. No one will question a prison killing.”

“How did I get handpicked for this shit?”

“You still have the Minnesota accent and you’ve done hard time. You’ll be easy to slide right in there. No one will suspect a thing.”

“I’m bound to been seen in there doing it. Then what happens?”

“That’s the genius of it, Derek. After Bryant is killed you will be shipped to the Minnesota Security Hospital for evaluation. The unit you will be on is the same unit where our number six man is locked up. He
killed a Navy WAVE in Hawaii and was running a large marijuana and narcotics ring while he was stationed there. He also stole some extremely sensitive classified material which was never recovered. It’s a two for one hit. You do him. You’ll be arrested and we will have our officers pick you up. But instead of being bound over for trial you will be whisked away to your flight to your new home. Obligation fulfilled.”

“That plan sounds like bullshit to me. Anything can happen once you get locked inside. I could get shanked by some punk trying to earn some respect,” Jake paused. “Or you guys just leave me inside after the hit and no one would be the wiser.”

Banks smiled at Jake.

“Derek, why would the hell would I go to all the trouble to spring you out of Leavenworth just to leave you inside a prison in Minnesota? Remember who you’re working for and why. The government needs these skels taken out of circulation. They sure as hell don’t want you left inside Oak Park and to start opening your piehole to the media. These are pure covert operations that you’re going to be sent out on. Top secret shit. The Feds know they fucked up on your court martial and they are willing to set the record straight. Trust me.”

Jake snorted. “Trust me. In a pig’s ass I can trust the Feds. Those fuckers had me locked up in the bowels of the worst shithole prison in their system, not talking to me, letting me go slowly nuts, and now I’m supposed to trust them.”

“What can I say? You either accept the offer or you go back to Leavenworth. I think island living would be a whole hell of a lot better than a prison cell.”

“What I can’t believe it, Banks, is that you can sit here eating a chicken sandwich and tell me how easy it’s going to be to kill six people. Like it’s going to be a walk in the fucking park. Have you ever killed anyone or do you just like to talk big?”

Banks glared at Jake. “Don’t get all huffy with me, boy. I was taking out assholes like this when you were still jacking off to the bra section in the Sears catalogue. So don’t try your badass prison routine with me. I’ll have your ass shipped back so fucking fast your head will fucking spin.”

Banks stood and threw his beer glass against the wall, glass and Guinness sprayed both of them. He stared daggers at Jake, his fists clenched, he was breathing so hard it looked like he had just finished a hard run.

“I’m tired of fucking around with you. Are you in or not?”

A vision of last night in bed with Jasmine and then the thought of his prison cell back in Kansas flashed through Jake’s mind.

“I’m in, Banks. I’m in. But let me tell you one thing. You fuck me on this deal and I swear to God, I’ll haunt you the rest of your worthless pissy life. I’ll do whatever it takes to bring you down. Are you in on that?”

Banks reached his hand across the table. “We’ve got a deal.”

Jerry Banks hadn’t killed anyone recently, but he had killed a couple of dozen Viet Cong or their sympathizers while he was in the Army Intelligence Corps. He liked to shoot them in the back of the head or throw them out of a helicopter while one of their buddies watched. It really got the little brown buggers to start jabbering.

Jerry came from a well to do family in Venice, Florida. His dad had been in insurance and his mother had been big in real estate. Jerry had a full ride golf scholarship to Florida State after high school, but had majored in pussy, beer, and marijuana instead, and had flunked out after two semesters. His draft board immediately beckoned. His old man pulled some strings with some buddies on the draft board and Jerry had wound up going to officers candidateschool after boot camp. After OCS he had attended military intelligence training and it was there that he found he had a hidden skill in interrogation.

Jerry lucked out once more and was cut orders to a Psych Ops unit in Saigon. There he spent his mornings grilling Viet Cong and North Vietnamese soldiers for the minimal military intelligence that they possessed, his afternoons on the golf course with the Generals, and his evenings smoking opium and screwing whores.

Life had never been better. Like Jake's Uncle Billy, Jerry was bummed out when the war ended but he quickly found employment with the CIA, and then a little more than ten years ago, with the agency that he was currently working with. It was great work, with minimal supervision, an almost unlimited budget, the golfing was fantastic in Nevada, he could gamble in Las Vegas, and there were whores galore. Almost like Vietnam but safer. Jerry liked to think of himself as a kid living out his wildest
fantasies. He never wanted to grow up.

The only bad part was having to deal with white trash like Jake Morrow and gutless weasels like Morgan. This wasn’t the first time he had worked with that little shit. Sooner or later, Morgan would have to become
the victim of a cap in the brain pan. He was too shaky and nervous Couldn’t be trusted for much longer. Might spill his guts.

“Ok. We’ll start briefing on assignment number one in the morning. I’ll send Jasmine over to help calm you down a bit. You’ll have a seven o’clock wake up call, so don’t stay up all night banging. Go easy on
the toot and the booze. I’ll need you fresh for your briefing.”