SCREAMING BATFISH BLUES #36

SCREAMING BATFISH BLUES #36

BATFISH

ISLA MUJURES AND MINNEAPOLIS

The sun was coming up on Isla Mujures. Incredible sight. I never got tired of seeing it. Artimus and I were sitting on the dock watching the fisherman getting ready to go out. The power of the black beauties was still keeping me wide awake. I opened up what must have been our fiftieth beer and passed one to my burly partner.

“The bus got to Grand Forks and I found out that there was a huge blizzard down in southern Minnesota and all buses going there had been canceled. The northern part of the state was clear though. So I thought I’d take a bus to Duluth. The thought of having to spend the night in Grand Forks didn’t fill me with a warm, fuzzy feeling. That turned about to about a bad idea.”

“I hadn’t made a lot of dough working for Chet, so I was traveling on a bare bones budget. When I got to Duluth I tried to check into this landmark dump called the Seaway but they were full. So like a dumbass, I decided to spend the night in that shelter. One half dicked brother later, the rest is history.”

Artimus had been standing there taking a piss off the dock. All the fisherman and their families running around and he doesn’t even make an attempt to be coy.

“So what happened after you escaped from the giggle factory?”

“I called my sister and woke her up. She about shit. She came on down and picked me up. I spent the next few nights hiding in the spare bedroom in her basement. Checked into a hotel after that. I was afraid that the heat was going to look for me at her place. She said that years ago some Feds came around asking questions but she hadn’t heard anything since.

All they told her was that I was AWOL. All the money I had sent was there.”

“I asked if the Feds had been to our parents. Couple of years ago I guess they inherited a bunch of cash. My mother’s father had run off years ago. He was a gambler living out in Reno. He had died and left his estate to this old hooker who was in her eighties and still working. Kind of a novelty act. The will stipulated that she had to quit the life if she wanted the dough. She said fuck that, so my mother got the inheritance. Now they live in North Dakota at some religious, far right wing, militant compound. Haven’t been heard from in years.”

“Anyway, I sent my sister out and had her get the film developed at one of those places where the machine does the developing. Had them ready in an hour. If the person who worked there saw them they would have called the cops for sure! You wouldn’t have believed those pictures. They start off with the Admiral and Rose doing all this kinky shit and winds up with her lying on the floor with her brains bashed in. I had her get three sets of prints.”

“So what did you do with them?”

“I sent one set to the Honolulu police department along with an anonymous note, Roses I.D., and a map detailing where they could find her body. The other set I had put in a safety deposit box.”

“What about the third set?”

“One night I had my sister drive me to Lakeville. It’s this suburb south of the Twin Cities. I wanted to call that number that Captain Clint had given me the night before we graduated from UDT training. I was worried that they’d be able to trace the call so I didn’t want it any where close to where my sister lived.

So I called and this lady answered. I asked for the extension and she put me through just like it was a normal business.

The phone rang about a hundred times and I was just going to hang up when this guy answered.”

“Holy fuck man! Who was it?”

Artimus was already oozing sweat.

“I don’t know. But when I told him that the Captain gave me the number and who I was, he said that some people had been looking for me for a long time. Wondered why it took me so long to call? I told him everything. About the drug dealing, Leon, Rose and the Admiral, me being AWOL, even about Wonderland Avenue. But more importantly, I told him all about Zak being killed. When I told him about the pictures, he wanted them. He gave me a PO Box in Langley, Virginia. That’s where the third set went to.”

“So what did he say after all that?”

“He said that I sure had been a busy boy. And that this was it. This was my one favor, but he could only do so much, and he was only doing that for Captain Clint. Then he told me to tear up that card and eat the scraps and forget I had ever called that number.”

Artimus was doubled over in laughter. “So did you eat the card?”

“Fucking A, I ate it.”

“So then how did you wind up here?”

“I just booked a charter flight to Cancun. Showed up with my fake

birth certificate and walked right on the plane with all the other tourists. I bummed around Cancun for a day or two before I took the ferry over here.

Found the job tending bar for Orlando. I met you and here we are. I got us those fake Canadian passports using the same book I bought from that company in Washington State.”

“Shit, man, do you still have those files on Morrison and Elvis?”

“That was last thing I did before I went out to the airport. I stopped off at the post office and dropped that file in the mail to Rolling Stone magazine. About a month later my sister got a check from the editor. It was enough for a nice down payment on a house out west for her. It was the least I could do.”

“So you don’t even know if you’re in the clear on any of this shit?”

“I know I’m AWOL. I know I’m an escapee from a mental institution. But everything else is in the wind.” I said holding my hands up.

“So who’s the asshole that you saw down by the snorkel charters?”

“I’m going to take care of that today.”

JUICE

LONG BEACH

Seventy two hours later, the trio reentered Jake's room, only this time a visitor was already sitting in the room with Jake and his guard.

A handsome Hispanic gentleman, who was wearing a cream colored suit and matching snakeskin cowboy boots. He had a long ponytail hanging down his back and it was obvious by his build that he had spent a considerable amount of time in the weight room.

The three were laughing about a joke which involved something about a dwarf and three hookers with a big dildo. Jake turned to the Hispanic man. “Here they are.”

He walked to the government officials, his hand outstretched.

“Welcome. My name is Enrique Martinez, the attorney for Mr. Morrow. Please sit,” he gestured towards their chairs.

Agent Foley cleared her throat. “Mr. Martinez, during our previous meeting with Mr. Morrow he suddenly decided that he would need some legal representation. Before we start again with our questioning we wish to reiterate that Mr. Morrow has not yet been charged with any crime.

And that the gov....”

“No more questions.” Martinez smiled with perfect teeth at Agent  Foley.

She appeared suddenly flustered.

“Excuse me?”

“My client has been unjustly accused by and convicted by the United States government for a crime he did not commit. Information was covered up and known witnesses, who were alive, were not called in his defense. This had been detailed in the media. An agent of the government then illegally released him from his incarceration in an attempt to involve my client in most likely some sort of illegal covert operations. Unfortunately, my client’s memory has been damaged by his long fall off the Vincent Thomas Bridge and he has no recollection of events leading up to his fall.”

Martinez leaned back in his chair and put his hand behind his head. “So there will be no more questions.”

Foley’s face was fire hydrant red. “Mr. Martinez,” she spat, “your client was involved in a shootout which resulted in the deaths of two people, one a federal agent, and a serious injury to a female bystander.

Furthermore, at this time we have no accurate time table on just how long your client as been out of Leavenworth. But in the last several months, his uncle, a convicted murderer, was broken out of a Minnesota state prison, and the financial office of a United States Navy ship was held up at gunpoint. Your client may very well have been involved in these crimes.”

Martinez’s booming laugh filled the room. “Do you have any evidence linking him to these crimes, Agent Foley?”

“Not directly,” she admitted,“at this time.”

The lawyer stood up. “Exactly as I thought.’” He unzipped his valise and pulled out three folders and handed one to Captain Putnam and the other to Agent Foley.

“This is a list of the requirements that my client is demanding of the U. S. government. Note I say demands, not requests. First, my client will need his discharge upgraded to an honorable discharge with full benefits restored. Second, all pay and allowances forfeited from the date of his conviction will be restored up until this date. Third, he will be paid a medical severance package for the injuries that have been sustained while under the custody of the United States government. And the final demand is that my client will receive a pardon from the government for any illegal activities that he may have been a part of up until this date.”

Martinez up looked at the JAG captain and the agent. Only this time he wasn’t smiling. “If you choose to not honor any or part of this agreement within twenty four hours, I will give the media full access to my client. This is a non negotiable issue. We will let them put the matter on trial.”

Foley looked like she was going to explode as she shoved the folder in her briefcase. “You’ll hear from us by tomorrow morning.”

The trio started to make their way to the door.

“Oh, Captain. Excuse me,” Martinez called.

Captain Putnam turned towards the attorney.

Martinez pointed at Agent Foley. “My client told me that you did not speak during your first meeting. And you didn’t speak during ours. So I was wondering. Can you talk or is she your ventriloquist?”

His booming laugh could be heard mocking them as they stormed down the hall.